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Monthly Archives: December 2015

I am sure some of you went shopping recently. You stood there in countless aisles and areas of department stores searching for that awesome gift. Maybe it was for Festivus, Christmas,  Hanukkah or even someone’s birthday and I am sure you came across one of those ridiculous over the top perfume and cologne ads. You know something like this: 124023070_251n

Stuff like this is definitely over the top. I mean let’s look at this ad here. Okay we have a woman who is pretty much naked sitting beside a lion. Maybe this is the lion from that Narnia film and this could be the little girl all grown up. If it is, I have many questions such as why is she posing naked with Asgard? If it’s not the same characters from the book, my question still remains, why is she posing naked with a lion? (notice the name change?) I mean why would she sit beside a lion naked with a bottle of perfume. Does this invoke some sort of want to purchase this perfume? Does it say, if a woman wears this scent she will want to sit naked to attract a random lion. This ad is totally lion! (bad pun?)

Let’s QA some more of these silly ads shall we?

The next ad shows a woman with a perfume that is shaped like a purse. It’s a nifty design indeed, but what I don’t understand is why does she have to put the chain in her mouth? Is she that hungry? mc-deca-2s I guess it’s supposed to also invoke some sort of sex appeal? But to me it really says I am hungry please feed me. Plus it also shows that this woman is really dirty. I mean why would she put that chain in her mouth to begin with? I am sure it hasn’t been properly sanitized. What a dirty woman. Does she kiss her parents with that mouth?

The next one features a famous celebrity, I don’t know his name, but he looks like some sort of biblical figure with that hair. Also, is it me or is he saying I really don’t like this scent? CT  CT-BIZ-PHIL-CHANEL_CTMAIN 1024 SR He has his fingers by his nose which signifies two things. 1. Someone farted or 2. This Chanel number 5 really smells. I wonder what number 4 smelled like? Maybe they should go back to 4? Obviously this guy doesn’t like it.

This next ad that stood out to me as strange is this one called, “Man.” finaldpsjimmychoomanadMy problem with this ad is the fact that this woman has decided to sit above this guy (who I assume is Jimmy Choo) instead of beside him. Maybe this is a clear cut sign that she doesn’t like the way he smells! He should really change his fragrance because obviously if she doesn’t want to sit by him that’s a clear cut sign that he needs to switch.

The next ad (almost done here) shows three well dressed men, one of them is Burt Reynolds and I really don’t know who the other two are. 0aca3eae7289517eebc90286ef9a9b86 My issue with this one is the fact that they are posing with a perfume and it’s called, “White Diamonds.” Okay first thing first, where are the white diamonds? I don’t see that. Next if this is really made of diamonds how much does this cost? It must cost a lot. Finally, why are they posing with a bottle of perfume? Are they going to wear it? Maybe it’s trying to tell guys hey you should buy these for your woman because these guys who are classy did. I feel like this belongs more with a cologne ad.

Speaking of cologne, this next ad really confuses me. First off why is she naked and he isn’t? 6ae7f540048c515723d98d96e3d7eefdI mean if you are going to get busy with a hottie like this why are you still dressed up in a suit? Seriously did he just walk in on her or something? She is clearly ready to go but obviously he isn’t. Maybe he’s not really interested in her? Finally, who is he looking at? If he’s with a butt naked hottie like this why is he staring at the photographer? Shouldn’t he pay more attention to her? Maybe he really likes the photographer! Wait, why is there even a photographer in the room? O_o

The final ad in this list comes from this scent: 20060526-sean512 I really can’t tell what the hell is going in here. He has one woman’s head on his lap and the other in the back is just sitting there. He really looks bored and uninterested in them. Maybe even carrying some sort of remorse for what he did? Actually even the women carry the same facial expression. The slogan really attributes to this even further, “Life without passion is unforgivable.” So clearly there is no passion here. So why would this cologne be worn? It clearly represents a passionless situation.

There you have it, the most ridiculous fragrance ads I have found thus far on the internets.

 

 

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Have you ever noticed at the airport how you’re not allowed to take liquids through security? They make you either drink the whole 2 gallons of water. If you cannot finish it then your other option is to dispose of it in a nearby trash. Now here’s my issue with this. This is a human bug. Okay say I am a really smart terrorist and I have a bomb that is made of liquids. Of course they won’t let me take it on the plane, so what’s my other option? Oh I know let me toss it in a garbage can in a room full of people. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO AT THE AIRPORT PEOPLE! Not the terrorists, but the so called security agents. They take your unfinished liquid beverages and toss them into garbages in a room filled with a ton of people going through security. Seriously how dumb is that? If one of those liquids happens to be a bomb and it goes off, boom a ton of people who are unsecured (they didn’t go through security, bad pun? too soon?) and dumb security agents are all killed. What they should do is screen the liquids instead and then allow people to either bring them or toss them. If it’s a bomb then act nonchalant and have them “finish”their liquid in a room then send them to a super secure room to have it go off.  Boom everyone saved.

Also do you ever have to drive someone to the airport or pick them up? Isn’t that such a tease? It’s like you’re going on a trip but you’re really not. No instead you’re going to pick up the in-laws or you’re taking some person named Bob or Katie to the airport so they can go off on a fun adventure leaving you behind like a chump! Blah!